Sunday, September 30, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
OUCH!!!!
It has been fun reading all of your responses to the growing pains that little Ezra has been going through. It is hard to find our way in this world at times. I read an interesting article today that is not quite the same kind of thing, but that caught my attention; not to mention it made me think about different kinds of pain we go through for our kids. Here is the link for your reading pleasure...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20995289/wid/11915773?GT1=10412
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20995289/wid/11915773?GT1=10412
The real answer
The real answer is to listen to the "still small voice." Raising children is such an incredibly difficult job that no one can do it successfully without the Spirit. We are so blessed to have the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide us.
Personally, I made so many mistakes that perhaps you can learn from them.
Remember that the most powerful teaching tool you have is your own personal example. If I could do it over again, I would try very hard to make the following words the ones to live by: Kind, Loving, Gentle, Fun-Loving, Firm, Caring, Persistent... etc. Words I would eliminate are: Angry, Mean, Severe, Ignoring, Mocking.
Don't forget, you will make mistakes but children are very resilient and will bounce back. Keep trying to do it right and the right will out-weigh the mistakes.
To all my children: I am sorry for all the many mistakes I made in raising you. The example that was provided for me by my father was not the greatest (of course that is no excuse). But, it is amazing how many times I found myself reflecting him in what I did. Now that Mom and I are alone, I often think of instances where, if I could do it again, I would do it differently.
Brad, let love be your guide. If you care, Ezra and your other children will turn out great! In fact, I can see that they are already well on the way.
On a side note... as the Dad, you have a minor role in shaping your children. The Mom is the biggest influence. In my case, I had the best "Mom" in the world raising my children. Just look at how great they turned out. You have Keryn. You can't lose!
Love, Dad
Personally, I made so many mistakes that perhaps you can learn from them.
Remember that the most powerful teaching tool you have is your own personal example. If I could do it over again, I would try very hard to make the following words the ones to live by: Kind, Loving, Gentle, Fun-Loving, Firm, Caring, Persistent... etc. Words I would eliminate are: Angry, Mean, Severe, Ignoring, Mocking.
Don't forget, you will make mistakes but children are very resilient and will bounce back. Keep trying to do it right and the right will out-weigh the mistakes.
To all my children: I am sorry for all the many mistakes I made in raising you. The example that was provided for me by my father was not the greatest (of course that is no excuse). But, it is amazing how many times I found myself reflecting him in what I did. Now that Mom and I are alone, I often think of instances where, if I could do it again, I would do it differently.
Brad, let love be your guide. If you care, Ezra and your other children will turn out great! In fact, I can see that they are already well on the way.
On a side note... as the Dad, you have a minor role in shaping your children. The Mom is the biggest influence. In my case, I had the best "Mom" in the world raising my children. Just look at how great they turned out. You have Keryn. You can't lose!
Love, Dad
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Parenting
I have never had 7-8 weeks to prepare for a talk before and hopefully, it won't happen that way again! It is nice to have it behind us. I know I didn't give a better talk with an extra 6 weeks to prepare. I spoke with last week's speaker and she has 6 weeks and still did it the night before!
Well, Brad, parenting is an adventure and you aren't always sure you have taken the right road, but with prayerful decisions it will usually come out with a good product, a functioning member of society and someone with a strong testimony of the gospel. We can't protect our children from the world through childhood, then expect them to deal with life as adults or teenagers. There are steps that must be taken by children as they experience the negative things of life with the tiny issues so that when big ones arise, they have the tools to respond appropriately. You have discovered that bullying starts very young. It is a huge issue in schools. An explanation that the behavior isn't proper in your home and a time out (brief) to reinforce the concept will have him well on his way with what is expected of him in spite of what he sees elsewhere. Once won't do it, but hang in there, he will get it. It is all these little issues that build character and shape the individual. The fine line is to know when too much exposure isn't good. It is good for our children to be good role models for others as long as they are staying afloat. There are lots of parents out there with poor parenting skills. these are the ones you don't want watching your children but have the friend in your home (if necessary) where you have control and can set the rules of what happens in your home. Be consistent!
I know I made tons of mistakes with each of my children and I am not much of an expert, but I believe the Lord makes up for your shortcomings if you are trying to do what is right. There are no perfect parents out there, so relax!
You two are doing great, keep up the good work, it is a long, rocky road with lots of highs and lows, but worth it! I have awesome grandchildren!
Mom
Well, Brad, parenting is an adventure and you aren't always sure you have taken the right road, but with prayerful decisions it will usually come out with a good product, a functioning member of society and someone with a strong testimony of the gospel. We can't protect our children from the world through childhood, then expect them to deal with life as adults or teenagers. There are steps that must be taken by children as they experience the negative things of life with the tiny issues so that when big ones arise, they have the tools to respond appropriately. You have discovered that bullying starts very young. It is a huge issue in schools. An explanation that the behavior isn't proper in your home and a time out (brief) to reinforce the concept will have him well on his way with what is expected of him in spite of what he sees elsewhere. Once won't do it, but hang in there, he will get it. It is all these little issues that build character and shape the individual. The fine line is to know when too much exposure isn't good. It is good for our children to be good role models for others as long as they are staying afloat. There are lots of parents out there with poor parenting skills. these are the ones you don't want watching your children but have the friend in your home (if necessary) where you have control and can set the rules of what happens in your home. Be consistent!
I know I made tons of mistakes with each of my children and I am not much of an expert, but I believe the Lord makes up for your shortcomings if you are trying to do what is right. There are no perfect parents out there, so relax!
You two are doing great, keep up the good work, it is a long, rocky road with lots of highs and lows, but worth it! I have awesome grandchildren!
Mom
Friday, September 21, 2007
Michelle and Moroni, together again
Happy birthday, Michelle. And happy Angel Moroni day to the rest of you.
Dad, I'm in suspense! Thanks for the response, Kim. I'll look forward to any others you all have to share.
While talking to Dad on the phone, he clarified the answer to my question in a post below. It was his dad's mom that played the piano for the silent movies. I also got him to tell me a bit more about his own dad's musical life. It was fun to hear a bit about it. We're going to have to sit mom and dad down and do some video interviews pretty soon. It is so fun to hear about their lives before we were around.
Dad, I'm in suspense! Thanks for the response, Kim. I'll look forward to any others you all have to share.
While talking to Dad on the phone, he clarified the answer to my question in a post below. It was his dad's mom that played the piano for the silent movies. I also got him to tell me a bit more about his own dad's musical life. It was fun to hear a bit about it. We're going to have to sit mom and dad down and do some video interviews pretty soon. It is so fun to hear about their lives before we were around.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Our famous Lauren
These photos were posted on the Deseret News website and one was even on the front of the sports page! Check 'em out.
Look at 8/24 12/24 16/24 17/24
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Welcome to parenthood
Never avoid any opportunity for growth! The Lord sends young men on missions, sometimes to dangerous places, and gives them experiences we, as protective parents, would never let them have. He wants us to be IN the world. To live and experience and learn and grow. And hopefully to be shining examples of righteous choices.
Steve and I have struggled with what to limit and what to learn from... They will go out into the world and experience temptations eventually. Start now, yes age 2+, to let them be "tempted" while you are still there to guide and help them recognize the consequences of those "temptations". In this case if he is rude/bossy/mean, he will be unhappy with the consequences and not be able to play happily with those he chooses to bully. Ezra will learn that he has to choose how HE will act, even when others around him are acting differently. What a life lesson! We always told our kids... others have their agency, but we (our family) choose differently and we are happier for those choices.
It is so great when you see your kids recognizing for themselves what they want to do and the reasons they want to do them. (Not just doing things because Mom or Dad is there hovering and threatening.)
GO BRAD!
Steve and I have struggled with what to limit and what to learn from... They will go out into the world and experience temptations eventually. Start now, yes age 2+, to let them be "tempted" while you are still there to guide and help them recognize the consequences of those "temptations". In this case if he is rude/bossy/mean, he will be unhappy with the consequences and not be able to play happily with those he chooses to bully. Ezra will learn that he has to choose how HE will act, even when others around him are acting differently. What a life lesson! We always told our kids... others have their agency, but we (our family) choose differently and we are happier for those choices.
It is so great when you see your kids recognizing for themselves what they want to do and the reasons they want to do them. (Not just doing things because Mom or Dad is there hovering and threatening.)
GO BRAD!
The Answer... soon
Of course, I know the right answer. However, if I simply give it to you before your other family members have had a turn, it would stifle their initiative. So, after all others have responded, I'll tell you.
Love Dad
Love Dad
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Dear Abby
I need some advice, and since Abby is dead, the rest of you will have to fill in. We're not too far into this parenting gig, so any thoughts you have are welcome from your various stages of life, from no children to grandchildren.
Ezra is absorbing behaviors like a sponge. He loves to put on a white shirt on Sunday "just like Daddy!" Sometimes, we don't really like the behaviors that he picks up. He has a fairly small Sunbeam class and the other boy in his class lives around the corner from us and his mother brings him to the weekly playgroup the women in the ward do.
This little boy has two very timid parents (from our very uninformed and distant view) and he has become quite strong willed and bossy. He's starting to manifest some bossy/pushy/bully behavior. After Ezra is around this boy, he starts to show those sorts of behaviors too.
Keryn said, "If this is the worst influence Ezra is ever around, we'll be amazingly blessed." Good point. But still you wonder... do you try to avoid the kid when you can, or do you try to deal with the fallout of Ezra mimicking the behavior?
Help me, Abby!
Ezra is absorbing behaviors like a sponge. He loves to put on a white shirt on Sunday "just like Daddy!" Sometimes, we don't really like the behaviors that he picks up. He has a fairly small Sunbeam class and the other boy in his class lives around the corner from us and his mother brings him to the weekly playgroup the women in the ward do.
This little boy has two very timid parents (from our very uninformed and distant view) and he has become quite strong willed and bossy. He's starting to manifest some bossy/pushy/bully behavior. After Ezra is around this boy, he starts to show those sorts of behaviors too.
Keryn said, "If this is the worst influence Ezra is ever around, we'll be amazingly blessed." Good point. But still you wonder... do you try to avoid the kid when you can, or do you try to deal with the fallout of Ezra mimicking the behavior?
Help me, Abby!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
BIG Ty
As all of you parents are realizing... time flies! It was so weird watching my little Ty on the high school football field playing like a big boy. All those kids seem so old, and I am certainly not old enough to have a child that "big". As Lauren and I wade through ACT registrations, college admission requirements, and scholarship possibilities, I am starting to think maybe I am old enough. I guess what I am saying is... enjoy every moment! Your kids will soon be BIG kids too!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Love You Mom!
I hope you have a terrific birthday today.
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. (Prov. 4:7)
Monday, September 10, 2007
Boo! Hiss! Cheer!
Our stake is putting on a melodrama. The woman putting the whole thing together was apparently getting desperate to find a pianist after being turned down several times--so she called me.
I explained that I could play sheet music but that I'm not much of an improviser. Knowing that I was going to be at the home of a really great pianist in a couple of days (in our old Orem ward), I agreed to do it, or at least to find some music if I could.
I turned to the internet and, without too much trouble, found some old music originally composed for use by the piano players that accompanied silent movies. There was "sailor music" and "hurry music" and "funeral music" and "battle music." The pieces weren't very hard to play and I had a great time at the rehearsal bouncing through the pieces and the actors really enjoyed having some sound effects. So I guess I have the gig. We perform in about two weeks.
Wasn't it Dad's grandma that played the piano for the silent movies? Which one?
I explained that I could play sheet music but that I'm not much of an improviser. Knowing that I was going to be at the home of a really great pianist in a couple of days (in our old Orem ward), I agreed to do it, or at least to find some music if I could.
I turned to the internet and, without too much trouble, found some old music originally composed for use by the piano players that accompanied silent movies. There was "sailor music" and "hurry music" and "funeral music" and "battle music." The pieces weren't very hard to play and I had a great time at the rehearsal bouncing through the pieces and the actors really enjoyed having some sound effects. So I guess I have the gig. We perform in about two weeks.
Wasn't it Dad's grandma that played the piano for the silent movies? Which one?
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Happy Grandparents' Day!
According to my wall calendar, it's Grandparents' Day today. So, happy Grandparents' Day, George and Eva!
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Shifting Views on Education?
I just read, in the online magazine Slate, a fascinating article about teachers and the slowly changing perception the public has about them:
High-pressured and punishing—of such macho qualities is social cachet often built in the world of work. Nowhere in Tyler Heights or Stuyvesant, in Perlstein's and Klein's portrayals, do you hear anyone touting the familiar (female- and family-friendly) perks of the profession: the long summer months off, the seasonal breaks, the 3 o'clock dismissals, the heartwarming kids. Teachers' unions never get mentioned, nor do bonuses. The scene is more reminiscent of, say, the Union army, beset by struggles and squabbles within the ranks, yet striving to make slow headway on divisive home ground.Read the whole thing--it's fascinating, and indicates that the exhausting, draining, but hopefully rewarding reality of teaching may actually start getting a little respect in the world.
It is precisely the draining rigors of the job that are intrinsic to teaching's appeal, helping it shed its schoolmarmish taint, suggests Fortune in an article about TFA's popularity. "The program has been likened to a domestic Peace Corps, with long work hours and much emotional demand, so it's not for the faint of heart."
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